Month: September 2015

If Buzz Words Were Honest

“Scratch-made, farm-fresh, all-natural bread.”

Buzz words are words that mean a lot more to your subconscious than they do in real life. A few are regulated by the FDA, but most are not. Couple these buzz words with some fancy packaging, including the right font and colors and the food producer/blogger/Pinterest link/magazine has almost got you.

But you and I are smarter than to be tricked by silly buzz words, right? We know better, obviously. Just in case you don’t, here is your handy guide to what those silly buzz words actually mean.

Natural: All the unhealthy stuff in here is not made from plastic.

Organic: I’m betting you don’t know the actual regulations for what is “organic,” and you’re going to buy this because you think it has more nutrition.

Farm-fresh: This is probably not a chocolate bar.

Homemade: Expect “rustic” elements, like an uneven shape or more timid color.

No artificial [whatever]: We never had that artificial [whatever] in here anyway, but you never cared. Now you think it’s an improved product and we’re cashing in.

Gluten Free: This is not more nutritious or more delicious, but you will pay more for that drier, nutty taste.

Detox: You will be hungry not long after eating this, and you will spend more money making this even though it’s about as “detoxing” as anything else you eat.

Green: Salad greens were harmed in the making of this product.

Power: There may or may not be protein involved here.

Clean: No one knows what this word means. Simply no one. But don’t you think of clean laundry?!

Raw: You will eat this cold.

Scratch-made: This will take you a long time to make, but if you have someone to impress then this will give you plenty to brag about!

Fresh: The food with this label is either now or was at one time in its natural state.

Small Batches: You will get to tell people this was made in small batches. Bonus points for being “local.”

Since [whenever]: The company that made this product was not always in existence. Someone, at some point, decided to make it.

Cure: This food has a strong flavor, which will make you believe it’s working. It might work.

Diet: Less flavor. Probably weird ingredients.

What are some other buzz words you see on packaging, ads, and Pinterest?