social commentary

Social Media Shade

SPOTTED: Tina and Joe are on the razor-edge of a break up and I have all the scoop. What happened, you ask? How do I know, you ask? Because of Social Media Shade. Her passive-aggressive posts and his social media purge reveal everything they are trying not to look like they are trying to reveal. It is going DOWN. It used to be that if you wanted to shade someone, you had to show up at the soda shoppe with their best friend or a Letterman jacket. Not today: you can do it with the click of button! Here’s how I (and, let’s face it,¬†everyone) can tell:

1. Shady quote posts about how love will let you rise again after you heal.


Guys, this isn’t about me, you know, this is just, a general inspirational quote that I happened to find (wasn’t searching for) and is applicable at any time, and not just after a break-up/getting fired/getting in a fight with ANYONE.

2. Low-ball “My life is complete” photos, usually captioned about all the wonderful people in your life (and definitely¬†NOT captioned: “Not pictured: A Snake.”).


See?! See how freaking totally happy I am and how I have to many friends and go out all the time? See? Also, I am hot…. so….

3. Just clearing your social media of the person.


This one takes so much time and work (scrolling through Insta? Hello!) but some people have the motivation.

4. The subtle details.


Changes in: relationship status (it disappears entirely, usually), profile picture, removing all personal details (even job/school/location) so as to disguise removing the relationship status. It takes more detective work, but it can be spotted.

5. Dramatic shift in tone and interests.


Another sly one. See, you can’t just stop posting on social media – people would think you died! Instead, you attempt to drown out your prior posts about the person or job you are breaking up with and flood your accounts with new content: I’m journaling/hiking/biking/wine tasting, and now you forgot all about that thing I’m no longer mentioning. Also usually included: posts about self-reflection and becoming a new person, doing new things.


The State of Things

Just because it’s the loudest, doesn’t mean it’s right.
Most of us agree that it rarely is.
But we can’t decide who is the loudest.
Who is the majority, and who is the minority.
Who is the aggressor, and who is the victim.
Instead of a fighting injustice, we fight that there is a problem.
Victims become aggressors; aggressors become victims,
so anywhere in the circle someone may or may not be is a threat to everyone.
And the cycle, and the circle go on.
Where did it start? Like to go back and find out?
We can’t, and even if we could we wouldn’t,
because our own dirt is too filthy for us to see.
That’s why the Internet is bigger than the universe –
to hide and justify and find some other human who makes you feel less shame.
Connection is good; it’s our deepest need.
You were named by a triune God and community is built in your very existence.
Community, though, can also construct standards and norms,
foster a status quo that is contrary to the Divine Story.
Judging ourselves by others is the fastest way to get out of tune with the Symphony of Salvation.
There is one right. Fifty thousand shades of wrong.
What’s the message today? What’s the latest label for our disease called “human-ness”?
Indulgence. We indulge in things, in nonsense, in luxury, in laziness, in information, in analyzing – whatever makes us happy, whatever feels right.
indiscriminate consumption.
Expose your deepest shames and we’ll celebrate your bravery.
Be totally “true” to your commercialized sense of “You” and accept everyone with open arms and no criticism.
And then peace will be known throughout the land.
I fail to see how indulging our every whim built by self-centeredness will makes us more community-oriented, but that is what we are told.
We’re told to tighten our politics and loosen our morals,
morals are locks kept on our cages, after all: meant to be broken open.
Sex is sold cheaply and free choice is supposedly free.
Addiction is real, and we identify with it’s disease, but we refuse to cut ties with its source.
All of this contradiction should lead us to question, should lead us wonder if we really are in Wonderland.
But we can’t because that would mean accepting responsibility, while we would rather just take the privileges.
It’s a good thing this isn’t it.
This life isn’t my last.
And that’s not because I believe it isn’t, or because that’s the way my parents taught me.
It’s as true as water is wet.
This isn’t it. We’re broken but not beyond repair.
We can be bought and sold so cheaply on this earth, but to our Creator we are priceless.